Is it weird that even though I saw him with another woman, when I went to cry I could not muster the tears?
Is it weird that I have a strong feeling this is a necessary part of the journey we are on and its not over but is a much-needed break for both of us? A welcomed freedom from the intense energy we create within each other.
Is it weird that I feel like the bulk of our relationship actually happens in the energetic realm?
He came to me so strong Monday morning when I didn't fall into step with what was becoming a regular routine of meeting in the laundry room of our building. His lack of action within this whatever it is we have going, had me backing out of all things connected to him as I knew I was beginning to drown with the stagnation of the energy.
He brushed my energy coming down the stairs as they are connected to my apartment and he brushed it as he went back upstairs. When I didn't respond to his energy I could feel his anger level rising. When his energy burst into my apartment i could almost physically feel him and it truly scared the shit out of me. I have never known someone that powerful in manipulating energy before.
I was reminded of the time with Mr. beautiful crazy (whom I contacted btw to see if it has been his energy coming to me at night which it hasn't been) when I was calling out to him to protect me from the guys that were smelling the heat I was in for him. He never protected me from the wolves. As I realise now was not his job too, it was my job to choose him if that was the path for me. And truly I did choose him in the end but he was too hurt to accept it and now that boat has sailed.... well in truth, if i were to be totally honest with myself..... it was nothing more than a learning lesson, we really had no passion for each other, he was not ready and astrologically we are not fit for each other.
Maybe Leo the Lion is just another learning lesson and its why my feelings aren't really hurt that he is with another woman. All I can really think is that I am better than her, and that's not ego talking it's just how I feel and I have no reason other then if he chooses her it's because he couldn't meet me where I am at and that's an okay choice on his part and it helps me move on, but in truth, I feel he will be back and this time he will fight for me as I have fought for him and trust me when I say I fought a noble fight for him. My demons are gone and will be forever now, I will never have to cycle that again even with a new partner. So thank you Leo the Lion.
He came to me several times in the past week in the astral and it was incredible. I wonder only slightly what would have happened had I acted on it. His constant rejection of me was beginning to wear on me and the games he was playing were way, way, way too hard for my heart. So I know that my choices would not have been different, there are no regrets in my emotions.... just freedom and peace. not even any heartbreak and that's the reason I write here today.
I can easily let go when the energy has let go of me. I can see how quickly my energy gets coveted when I let a man into it. If they get the milk for free why would they ever pay for it, right? So now is time for me to put a huge block up around my energy and only give it intimately to those that deserve it, to those that have worked for it.
Leo will know what he is missing soon enough because all my ex's come back at some point. If he wants me he will have to work his fucking ass off for me because no little balcony head pop or energetic plays are going to do it this time.
August is when the magic will happen as per my yearly read did back in September. So till then I will focus on my own adventures and see where they lead me, maybe it will be far away from Leo the Lion and into something even greater. Again timing of everything is a faith and a trust that is hard-won through experience for this old dog. Live and let live!!
New Love Creation:
I want to be swept off my feet by someone that is totally connected on all levels and I want to marry that person because they will be able to keep the relationship alive for decades with their connection to themselves, source and me.
This is my intention and my creation..... let the games begin!!