Surrender and Flow.
What is the difference? Is there a difference? Is flow just the new surrender?
As we move from the energy of Pisces to the energy of Aquarius I can see how we move from surrender and waving the white flag to allowing ourselves just to flow through life's trials and tribulations like we are an excited observer of our own lives.
I cannot get on board with the idea of surrender.
I really can't.
I have been through a twelve step program that was all about surrender and there were many meetings spent discussing this topic at length and no matter what perspective was taken I could not get on to the idea that surrender was just about letting go.
Surrender brings an image of waving a white flag, does it not?
Does that white flag not imply some sort of defeat? If you are to surrender your thoughts, are you not admitting your thoughts were wrong and thus failure's? Maybe even if they are, in that defeatist surrender where are you left?
A barren wasteland riddled with dead bodies? How is that a good launching ground for your next adventure?
To me when I feel I need to shift gears because my thoughts or a project or a habit has pulled me down into a muddy stuck wheel spinning place, I stop and allow the flow to pick back up and take me out of that sticky spot. I could keep fighting and try to control the situation, try new angles of wheel turn and different acceleration rates to get unstuck but in truth that just brings a white flag of defeat.
To let go, stop for a moment and call in flow.... in surrender its God you pull to you. Within Flow, it's your own connection to the universe that slows everything just enough for you to connect with what is around you and before long you know exactly what to do to get out.
I guess you can say the concepts are the same in the letting go aspect. Letting go of what is causing you pain and stepping into what feels better.
So if surrender is the letting go, the flow would be the next step. However, I still can't accept surrender as it is to defeatist for me. I have no desires to put up a white flag, but all the desire in the world to move on to something new right away if what wasn't working before needs to move out of my life.
And what about Flow and surrender in situations that are not let go circumstances but you have no control over and you don't particularly like the way they are going but know in your heart they will come around to where you want them to be.
Whoa.... that was long a wordy lets try that again..
Flow allows you to redirect your course of actions onto a new path until the one you want reconnects with yours again as it goes around that huge island of rocks in the middle of the river. Flow gives you the option of the colour of raft your on and how to navigate around the rocks but not the choice of river nor who and what connects when.
So maybe to flow gangsta style one needs to build Noah's boat!
That's where I am at today. Flowing in a new direction. It's a new moon and I had hoped that I could have found a way to invite the Lion into my life.
The truth is I do not flow all that gracefully.
I force and push and hide and run and do all the things you should not do when your showing someone you like them... but whatever. I could surrender and tell the universe my heart hurts too much and I don't wanna play anymore... I could wave the white flag and say enough I am exhausted.
But in truth, I am not letting go.
I have conditioned my own self to believe I am not worthy of love. That I am somehow extremely defected and will always struggle for scraps of love. Through all the programs I have worked I have dug in deeper to that condition like a fat girl digs in deeper to her pain through every diet she tells her body with, that its not good enough.
To remove the conditioning means more work on my part, not surrendering and giving up. How does surrendering move me forward? It doesn't. Flow and allowing my higher self and the universe to move situations into my life that allow me to move out of this conditioning is how I would rather proceed.
I don't want to give up on that Lion....
Because I am done giving up on potential partners. I say I want someone in my life and yet attract to me people that want to hurt me. That's not a blame thing, truly, its a reality of where I am still at. Those mere morsels of love, remember.
Well, the Lion is a full nine-course meal far from mere morsels it would take me the rest of my life to get through all he could offer me. I am truly tired of surface superficial people that have nothing to offer me but their skin deep problems.
I want excitement and romance and I want to be pushed out of my comfort zone and I want to learn something new and I want to be the receiver and to feel my breath betraying me when I want to play it cool. I want to not have any idea what is gonna happen next and to be surprised and amused by every situation we have. I want to feel like a giggling school girl and for my life to be lived from that place of carefree fun.
There are not a lot of men that have true smiles in the world. Many men cannot laugh deeply or even have an ability to flow with life. This guy has those abilities and creates all those things above.
Where I created flowery words on these pages before in hopes of creating my dream man using the ingredients I had to work with in my life at those moments.
.... I have now begun to stumble upon these creations in real life.... and when I say stumble I mean kamikaze crash landing into his apartment in the middle of the night kinda stumble. The grand experience you tell your grandkids about.
When you meet someone who brings you into a new version of yourself and one you like better then any of the You's that have gone before... You hold on to that guy and you do what is necessary to flow with not only your needs but his as well.
And for a chance at a life with Leo the Lion..... I can flow.
New moon I had hoped you would have heard my plea and made this journey easier for me, but alas that may not be the case. So there is an element of surrender after all in walking away from the Lion to allow him his space to decide if the chick that kamikazed into his apartment in the middle of the night and shook up his life is worth all the chaos she will surely bring to his tightly nit world.
It's a scary place waiting to see if someone wants you or not.
Flowing away in a situation like this sure feels like a defeat, I can see why people call it surrender. I don't wish for my guides to think I have let go of the lion though because I indeed have not. I just need to flow where it feels good right now and that's away from all things romantic...
Flow away from the Lion and into some deep action steps.
Let me develop my business
while I wait for the lion to lick his wounds and regain his composure after this feline attacked his slumber.
I am stronger Leo, don't ever forget that if you wanted a match, you met her. Don't end up losing her by taking to long with those wounds life has a way of moving faster than you realise.
Surrender or Flow?
Let go is to give up, or to move on to something new while you wait?
Twin flame concept.... get creative while you wait. I like that one.
So let the creations begin and new life flow to me!!
I am Ready!!