Sometimes I feel like I need to get far far far away from this blog and then other times its the only way my heart will release its pain.
Twin Flames make me crazy sometimes. Breeds Obsession. Then after a while away from it it has an opposite effect, and it releases those bottled up feelings from a numb heart trying to survive in a cold world without romance to keep you alive.
I know its not only romance that can warm your heart. Its why I must leave here sometimes. To focus on other avenues to my heart. Avenues that create equal ecstasy. Sometimes higher.... but never better.
I had a vision today. An encounter with another astral traveler.
It was during a mediation for creating some cold hard cash. A transmission through the Akashic records to release the binds that my mind has a hold of over being well off.... about being always poor and forever struggling no matter how many thousands and thousands of dollars are brought in each month.
I went somewhere else during the transmission but it was okay I liked what happened.
After a few tear releases and a minds let go's of what could easily be seen, felt and knew must be moved out of me, I felt fingers painting brown lines on my face. I could feel the man right there with me. Nothing was holding his energy away from me seeing him and feeling him fully in my reality in my easiest understanding of him... a hot male.
He was giggling and already telling me that romance will no longer be an issue for me. His laugh was so playful that I could barely ask why. I didn't really care, I trusted that his laugh was a forewarning of so much fun and love and respect and attention and all the things I want from one male and none of the fears and drama bullshit. I could feel it off the pure sheer level his energy was at. It was greater then what I could imagine from his feeble attempt to describe it to me, so i didnt bother to ask.
I asked him instead, why he was marking up my body with brown lines. And why it felt so amazing.
He looked me square in the face and said. "You're a Warrior Now".
His words filled me with mixed emotions.
I didn't want to be a Warrior I Want to be a Shaman. But it never ever occurred to me to become a Warrior. All of a sudden the idea of it exploded into my mind and I was instantly in vibration with that energy and feeling the most intense full body let go of all the things that no longer serve me for this new role I am stepping into.
I had to let go of the very hard time I was having walking through the devastation of my self esteem.
I have been there before so it was a well known path back up to where I am suppose to be, but none the less my heart was crushed that I chose so fucking poorly once again. I have over analyzed and thought the shit out of how Crazy Beautiful Got in, I am sure it was his name sake, it always is their fucking names that do me in. But anyways.... Thank you Merlin for trying to show me months ago. I got it, just slow is all.
I am glad to step into a new role. I am ready to become something new, something different. I am done cycling abuse and neglect. I am finished with the victim-hood and the need to follow other peoples programs, I am ready to create my own program for you to follow.
I am ready for MindFalling.com I am ready to become a warrior and kick some ass on the spiritual front and put all my energy into making waves and distracting the mind so that I can free people to step into their authentic selves. I am ready to be loved so fucking deeply that I cannot even imagine it right now. So I will focus on only one thing...... breaking down the walls with my Tribe.
I am ready.