Sunday, January 24, 2016

If He is My Twin Flame, Why do I need to take a Lover?

So how does a twin flame change Meat suits?  How can someone you really believed to be your twin turn out to not be and then someone else steps in to that spot?  Could I have been wrong the first time and now I have found him, but whats if in two weeks the real him rolls in and replaces this one.   Am I not just making a mockery of the twin flame concept?

Who even coined the twin flame concept?

I have always rolled with the belief of soul mates.  I have had this belief not because of books or the internet.  I knew this concept to be truth when I was very young and now in hindsight,  I understand that I was having many communications with my Higher Power, My God when I was young.   I knew the trauma I was experiencing then was due to a Karmic debt and I had to just grin and bear it until my rewards later in life.  I could only bare it because of these constant downloads of understanding.

One of them being Soul Mates and Twin Flames.

I knew in my heart of hearts I would meet my twin flame this Life and connect fully.   And this would be one of our last lives.  I truly do believe in reincarnation and soul level learning.  I have always believed in that.   What I still struggle to understand due to lack of experience is unconditional love and Twin flame pairing.

My conflict with this concept is where does romantic love fit into this paring.  I do grasp the concept that not all twin flames are romantic partners.  My daughter and son are deep soul mate pairings.  Me and my oldest daughter are another deep soulmate pairing.  And to say any mother with her child is a soul mate connection, is a false assumption.  I have three children and I am not connected in the same way to all of them.   I just know for me personally that my Twin flame will come in the form of romance because for me that is where my early childhood drama destroyed me the most.

Our trauma's are our destiny or our passions are, either or.  For me its my trauma because it was so deeply burned into the fabric of who I am.  I could become a single cat lady and live safely that way.  Free from my memories and feelings or I can embrace who I am fully and move into what I need to teach me how to love fully and without conditions.  That is why I know I am destined to find that perfectly fit other piece in my life.  Because it was taken from me when I was a child by a man and only a man can return it.

So back to my original question..... how can this man have changed bodies?

Now that I have established that I indeed have such a deep belief in twin flames, I will prove that no matter what, I will create that reality for myself.  because it's something my psyche believes it needs to feel fully satisfied, accomplished and whole in this life time.  It's not an unhealthy concept to me to put some dependence into other people for my total security.  We are interdependent humans, we cannot survive and thrive alone.  We need each other to grow and flourish.  I need a twin flame to build on my weaknesses and lend my strengths too.  It is spoken in the bible that one is a fool if he should choose to travel life alone.  Better is a man who has a companion to keep him safe from predators.

So then why do I know that Beautiful Crazy has stepped up to the plate?

Life path similarities.

The more I learn about Beautiful Crazy the more I come to learn how eerily similar our lives are.

They are so close to the same that we have almost met several times in our life.  We both have the same first marriage dynamics, three children and even the same kind of family dog that we both disliked intensely.  We both went to school for things we hated at the exact same moments in our lives for the exact same reasons.   We both have rebound flings after our marriages that created a tremendous spark for both of us and the other partners each had our names tattoo'd on their bodies.   We both have the same residual effects form our trauma's and we both are heading in the same direction in life.

I believe now that a twin flame is not the person you have a spark with.   The person you have a spark with is someone you are meant to be attracted to in that moment for a specific reason.  The sparks are created by soul mates.  Twin flames are more likely to create a repulsion then a spark.  Your twin flame will force you to stand in the truth of who you are.  many of us are not fully ready for that.  Its painful to see yourself totally naked through the eyes of another.  That is what a twin flame does for us.... sheds our skin entirely and brings forth the best version of yourself.....


Where does romantic love fit into that?

Mr.  Beautiful crazy is not ready to kiss me.  Not even close.   It's been two years.  I know he loves me.   I even know sexually we get along well and I have had the best Tantric experience with him.... but he has not felt a spark with me.  He has not been ignited romantically towards me,,,, but loves me so much.   I don't know how to cope with that.   It is one of my childhood trauma issues..... understanding intimacy.

So to help me through this.  I have went and got myself a lover.   I don't really know what else to do.  I feel so full of sexual energy and Mr. beautiful crazy, one doesn't live really close to me( a five hour drive away) and two isn't passionate for me.  I need to feel wanted sometimes.  I love feeling loved and I do feel so loved.... but that is not the same as being ravagely wanted.

In the deepest recess of my being I know without a doubt that one day Mr. beautiful crazy will be ready for me.   I know its not even a belief at this point... I just know that one day I will retire with my beautiful friend that is teaching me about intimacy and all things Love connected.

 But in the mean time I have to actively wait for that time to come and there isn't really much doubt that this guy is gonna take a few years to get there.... its already been two and the progression up until now has been slow going but going it has... and that is why the tremendous amount of faith.

Will one day the meat suits change again?

I don't believe they will.  I think Merlin Sparked me to this life path travel, but just the igniting spark.  It will always be Mr. beautiful Crazy and if not him.... then the universe will provide me blissful companions to keep me company in my life journey.  Because the truth is.... I have been single for a long time, I love myself enough and I WANT to be in Romantic situations.

It's truly what we want that we create.  I want a Twin Flame and until he can become that,  I shall take a lover.

Continue to follow the white rabbit?

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